It seemed like today

But it was many yesterdays

That I made a complete fool of myself

I shared an idea

But everyone else thought it was stupid

 

It was also yesterday

When I thought

I was right

Only to discover

I was the one who was blind

Blind to the simple truth

That they didn’t want to hear

 

Many seasons ago,

I put my hand to a plow

That I had no business

Of seen through

All the difficulties and up and downs

Yes, I was out of my mind

 

Yesterday’s news

Seems like today’s heartache

And tomorrow’s regrets

Of lifetime mocking and slandering

From those I don’t want near

 

So please forgive me

For my fallacies and lack of common sense

Release me from my insensitivity to you

Overlook my inexperience

At making wise choices

Don’t hold a grudge or belittle me

For I too am learning

About your humanity

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” (Edmund Burke)

I remember as a child, I was going to be a missionary to India, my home country.  I was American living the American dream of having a good family,  attending excellent school of choice and a full-time student of God.  I was going to make a difference in the world. I was going to change the world.  I felt God’s call on my life to work with children who had no homes, no family, and no livelihood.

I attended college to get my mission degrees and my teaching’s degree. After four and a half years, I built up quite a bit of debt. Going into the peace corp wasn’t going to help pay off the debt, so I got a full-time job.  It took me four years to pay off my school loans.  During the time of paying off my bills, I worked with children in the churches. I also went to India for a month to work with orphans.  I knew this was my calling, working with these kids who had nowhere to go in life. They had no goals, no dreams, and unfortunately no family to look out for them.

After paying off all my bills, I realized I wanted to get married.  I thought missions could wait until I had a spouse. So I prayed for a spouse for three years and ended up getting married to an person who didn’t want to live in India and who wasn’t interested in the mission field. He didn’t mind that I go for a month or so but he wasn’t going to go. I realized that I was getting disappointed in life. Marriage was supposed to be a great thing. But I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t working with kids in the church nor was I a missionary in India. Nothing was satisfying me. I had a great job, and we had a nice home but I felt like I was incomplete.

I thought maybe I needed to get pregnant, that would make me happy. After some losses, I felt so lost and so much in pain. I honestly felt like God had left me. I had greatly disappointed him and now I was suffering the consequences.

In the midst of my pain, I would lose myself to depression.  In those moments, I would sit in front of the television and watch movies. In one of the movies I watched, I saw a little boy in India who had been abandoned by his family. He lived in the red light district, trying to make ends meet. He was a Chaiwaller – Tea delivery boy. His name was Krishna. People took advantage of Krishna by stealing from him, not paying for their tea, and treated him with so much disrespect because he was a nobody. He was dirty, stinky, had no home, and no one cared about him.  No matter how many right choices he made, there was always something working against him. At one point, the little boy breaks down and cries in the back alley of a deserted road. No one came to his aid and there was no happy ending.  There was no hope to be found.  I felt terrible for him and I felt his pain of hopelessness.  But I also knew the accuracy of this movie. The producer did a great job of presenting the truth of how life is lived in the poorest places on Earth.

I sat there and first time in my life, I didn’t think I could be a missionary to India.  I felt completely helpless. I didn’t think that God would come through for me. How do you get around the poverty mindset and help kids to arise above that? Who was going to help me with these kids in feeding them, housing them, teaching them, and raising them? I am no sales person, and I was not interested in handouts. There was no non-profit organization, no church that was going to give money or families that were going to give me their child support to help these kids. Right there and then, I gave up my dream in wanting to help these kids. How was my God going to do his supernatural miracles in the midst of such poverty? How was my God going to keep these kids afloat until they were old enough to take care of themselves? I had a dream but I didn’t know how it was going to become reality.

I had waited too long to fulfill my dreams, and when I was given an opportunity to re-live my dream, I forsook the call on my life.  For the next couple of weeks, it bothered me greatly that I didn’t believe God would help me in meeting the needs of so many helpless kids.

As I watch so many feeding programs for international projects, I think  about how it used to be my dreams, to reach out to those kids that no one wanted; the very kids that were discarded by parents to live in the filthy streets. Many of these kids get sold into human trafficking,  many turn to prostitution, and drugs. And yes, some of them turn into criminals.  Last but not least, there are children who die of hunger, who die from street abuse, and who die from servicing their bosses in doing jobs they have no business in doing.  It is during these times, I ask God to forgive me for my selfishness, for my pride, and for my lack of control for the affluencetial lifestyle.  How many lives did I help destroy because I forsook the call? I had guilt and shame. God forgive me for my callousness towards the sufferings of the innocence.  May there be a day, when I will have the opportunity to see that door open again, to help those no one wants to help.  May there be a day, when I will not forsake the call in fulfilling the dream that was planted in me thirty years ago, may that day come soon.

I have immersed myself
Literally dunk myself
In words of encouragement
In songs of inspiration
And in prayers of expectations.

I have disciplined myself for hours, days and weeks
To whisper, to say, to shout out and even cry out
The mantras of unexistence promises into existence
Believing that it will be my solid rock
In a time of need.

When those storms comes
I hang on for my dear life
To that anchor
That keeps me steady
And steadfast.

When the winds of life blows
And I am pushed every direction
I reach out to that hand
That holds my hand
And never lets me go.

Yes, even when it rains
On the inside of me
I gravitate towards the love
That I have so intently relied upon
To get me out of my mess.

So when doubt, dismay and depression
Tries to settled into my mind
All that I have learned
in my quiet times alone
Pushes back the uninvited guests.

It is through me
In me
And out of me
That these rivers of hope flow
And creates joy where there is none.

But it isn’t me
That brings peace
In the midst of the storm
Oh no, it is not me
It is my faith in You

Believing that you will come through for me
When nothing else will do
And when no one else can help
It is you and only you
That sustains my life in a fallen world.

So I will marinate myself in you
Basking in your presence
And when life turns upside down
I’m still rightside up
Because of your unconditional love for me.

Have you heard the greatest tales ever told in history?

       Stories that will rock your mind

          Some say these ancient fire camp legends

               Changed their lives, and changed their world

 

Here are the fables in a line or two

          The heroic, the impossible, earth moving epics of the past

                   Will you believe them too?

                             Or shrug them off like many do?

 

Adam and Eve came from the dust of the ground

     Noah build an ark to save his family and animals

          Abraham age 100 and Sarah age 90 had a baby

               Jacob wrestled with an angel of God

                    Joseph slave of Egypt became a ruler of Egypt

 

Moses talked with a burning bush that didn’t burn

     Joshua marched around the Jericho and the walls came tumbling down

          With pitcher and a trumpet of God, the Midians were destroyed at Gideon’s hand

               The strength of Sampson came from his hair which the Philistines feared

                       Balaam’s donkey had a conversation with Balaam after seen an angel

 

Queen Esther saved her people from Hamaan’s wicked plot

     David fought Goliath with a sling and a stone

                    Solomon became the richest and wisest man in the world

                             Jezebel killed a man over wanting his vineyard

                                       Elijah witnessed the fire of God consume the altar of Baal

 

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego escaped the fire while being in the furnace

          Daniel had spent the night in den of hungry lions

                   Nebuchadnezzar lived the life of an animal just to learn humbleness

                             Lucifer and Michael fought over the body of Moses

                                      Jonah lived in a belly of a whale for three days

 

                                               Jesus came from a virgin birth                

                                     He healed the sick, made the lame to walk

                           Jesus made the blind to see

                   He even raised people from the dead

          He turned water in wine

 Even the winds and the rains obeyed him

                                                                                                         

                                    Jesus walked on water

                        He rebuked demons out of people

               Jesus fed five thousand people with 5 loaves and 2 fish

        He put a man’s severed ear back in its rightful place

 He even forgave his enemies who had him killed

 

And to top it all off

He raised himself from the dead after three days

To save humanity from sin and eternal destruction

 

So the question remains

Will I jump on the bandwagon of religious fanatics?

And believe these tales to some are true?

Or will I read through blindly and silently close

The book of my heart and mind?

 

Yes, I was entertained and beguiled

But did I check its validity?

Or was it just another tale to pass the time by?

Did I reflect, reason, question what I read?

Was I choosing not to believe because I didn’t want to see?

What if these stories were true?

What if they were inspired words of a living divinity?

What have I lost if I didn’t see the key to setting me free?

I don’t know me
I know my gender
I know my descent
But everything else
Is a muddle.

There are no records
Where all the evidences exist
There were no witnesses
That could verify my coming

I use to cry, fret and regret
When I didn’t know
My roots, my heritage or my DNA
I use to dread the family holidays
And look for solace in a lonely stranger

I am no daddy’s little girl
Or mommy’s little helper
I am a forsaken seed
That has started my own tree

I have learned to be free
From my ashes
And have learned
I can be anyone I want to be

No legacies to follow
No family curses looming over me
No parental demands
No gene telling me what to become

I am free to be me
I am no child prodigy of music
Nor a manson killer
But I can be somewhere in between

So as I search the limitless potentials
I have no one to thank for my endeavors
Nor no one to blame for my failures
I am my own person

I have found the treasure
Beneath all the rubbles of tragedies
The diamonds of true excellence
Which has been found in One person

Who takes my hand
And leads me to all Freedom
In being content in who I am
And not in who I miss being

 


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One of the things I am learning in life is that God speaks through dreams.  This realization has taken me a long time to grasp and understand after going through some difficult and painful experiences. I know that God speaks but I don’t always hear him when I am awake at least that is what I thought. In my busy schedules and constant noises it is difficult for me to know when or how God speaks. Or is he even speaking to me at all? But it is through dreams, that God shares his heart with me.

 This first dream, I noticed something really interesting, and didn’t put much thought into except for the fact that something always went wrong in my dream and in real life, something went wrong as well.  I would dream that a big snake would crawl into my bed and slither its way to my face. When it was close to my face it would bite me.  I hated this dream because it would recur again with the same snake in another week or month and I would have to experience the fear and the pain again.  I also realized that within 24 hours of having that dream, I would get into an ugly argument with my mother-in-law to the degree that it caused pain and friction. We had to separate several times throughout the months and years.  So every time I had this dream about this snake, my mother-in-law would verbally bite me in real life. The verbal abuse hurt pretty badly and the impact of it also hurt my husband.  Putting the two and two together – I learned that when I have this particular dream, I need to stay away from my mother-in-law (she was the snake) for the next two days.  It only took three years to discover this. I wish I had known this sooner to save all of us the heartache of family problems.

 Second Dream

  I was living back in the old west ghost town homes. I was living on the second floor with a roommate. I noticed that there was a well that the town was sharing. On this particular night, the water that came from the well was contaminated. When the people drank from it, they started to behave very destructively almost demonically. They had knives and became demon possessed. The ones who drank from the well cornered me between my door and the neighbor’s door (a space between the two doors) and tried to cut my arms and face. They left big gouges. I rebuked them and told them, “Satan has no hold on me and I am covered by the blood of Jesus”. But the words didn’t mean anything to them and they continued to cut me, they wanted to kill me.

 I sought insight into this dream and I prayed about.  This dream was about my husband’s family and ex-family.  Without going into intimate details, the family had accepted a teaching that God had told me to stay away from at the beginning of the relationship. I find it amazing how easy it is to fall into indoctrination and believe it is God’s will and to enforce it upon others to believe it as well.  God had clearly told me on several occasions stay away from this teaching, the philosophy or the theology did not come from him. STAY AWAY FROM IT.  So I stayed away but it caused a great deal of pain within the family due to the conviction. After dealing with the false teaching, God wanted me to let it go but I didn’t let it go. Within time, I was getting hurt again because I didn’t listen to God’s voice of staying away, I entertained and toyed with the thought.  I have moved on from this painful experience and I don’t want to go through the third time.

 Third Dream

  I dreamed that I lost seven teeth.  Teeth are in reference to jobs; businesses, and livelihood. The very next day, seven employees were laid off at my job.

  Fourth Dream

 For several months I have had these recurring dreams about snakes in my house. Sometimes, the snakes come in because there is an open door; other times my cat brings it in. Each time there is a snake in the house and it has a tendency to multiply. On Sunday night, my dog (I don’t have a real dog) gave birth to three green snakes. Those snakes in turn gave birth to more snakes. They all ended up underneath my bed and there were some throughout the house. I hate snakes with a passion. My roommate (I don’t have a real roommate) tried to get rid of the snakes really to discover there were hundreds of green snakes under the bed. What makes me wake up is when the snake tries to crawl on me in my bed.

Two days later:

I had another dream. I was at my Aunt’s house. I don’t ever see this aunt. My aunt wanted to take me somewhere in her car and I was thinking on the ride to the location I really should have brought my camera. We went through a winding road and ran into the sand. As we turned the corner, I saw the ocean and the huge waves ran into the road. And on that sand path that we were on, I saw big python snakes lying around like they were sunbathing. I freaked out in the car and told my Aunt how much I hated snakes and that few nights ago I had a dream about snakes in my room. We were trying to back up the car and my Aunt Delores had put her hand on the windshield. One of the snakes bit her finger and punctured it. As we backed up in the vehicle, I saw a white dog sitting in front of those snakes. I said to my Aunt, “Those snakes aren’t biting the dog.” She shrugged her head and said, “No”

The meaning of this from a friend:

 One of the main things you want to determine in a dream is if the tone is negative or not. If it’s positive, there’s a good chance it is God telling you something. If it is negative, scary, with dull or muted colors (as in this case) it is actually the plan of the enemy. This is a good thing, though! God is allowing you to see what Satan’s plan is. If you know what he wants to do, you also know what God wants to do, because Satan is a liar, which is the opposite of the truth, which is found only in Christ. So the dream: Satan wants to infiltrate your life and fill you with multiplying fear. God wants to stop that and multiply his life and blessings in you! You should pray “God, thank you that I am safe from Satan by the blood of Jesus. Multiply Your life and blessings in and through me.” That is exactly what God wants to do for you right now. He wants to set you free from fear and give you life. I believe there is a big encounter with God in your near future. That is the ocean crashing into the road. The road is going to be painful (Dolores in Spanish means pain) but it will be a pain that will beautify you. It will be so beautiful you will want to remember it forever (camera). The white dog – is an angel that God has already sent to protect you. If you will agree with what God is saying and wanting to do in your life you will find this recurring dream will suddenly stop and you’ll see the fulfillment of what the Lord Jesus is doing. Amen!

Fifth Dream

 I have had several repeated dreams where I am running late for school in my high school years. I arrive late and than I can’t find my classes, I am literally lost in the hallways of the school. I get into my class and discovered that I am failing in that class. I am getting terrible grades in all my subjects. After school is over, rather than taking a bus or any form of transportation I walk home which is 15 miles from the school. The walk is long and I meander off the main road several times, taking the routes that my bus would take to drop off the kids from school.

 The meaning of this:

 These dreams are speaking to you about where you are at spiritually. God is letting you know that your spiritual walk is the problem as you wander, trying different things, plus you choose not to connect with a ministry (vehicle). When you are not in a ministry or church of some kind you have a tendency to try and find God for yourself (walking)and that causes you to wander, but when you connect with a ministry (vehicle-such as a school bus) you are taken to the place you are suppose to be (home or school) The school part speaks of your spiritual education,(high school means you are not a baby Christian but you are still hanging out in a middle area of learning unlike a university which would be a place of higher learning). Being late, not getting what God is trying to teach you, failing, getting lost in the school is all showing that you’re not doing well in what God is trying to teach you in your life. If you apply the same habits you learned when you were in real school then your spiritual life will improve. Like…studying God’s word, not wandering off seeking other teachings, staying focused on the Lord and get into a ministry that will take you to a place where you can learn what God wants to teach you.

  Sixth Dream

 2/10/11 – the Contract:

This morning I had this dream, where the president of my company asked me to decorate the kitchen. Before I could decorate it, I had to sign a contract that the only pictures I was going to put on the walls was pictures of Abraham and Ishmael. I had to promise him verbally as well as sign on the dotted line that nothing else was going to go on the walls but these photos.

The Answer:

The  president would represent someone over you, a pastor, a boss, or someone who has some controls over your life. In most cases this represents God or in some cases he represents a god-like figure. Because it’s in the work place it would have to do with your service, whether in a church, a ministry, or in life. A kitchen speaks of the heart, so this is an issue of the heart in a place of service.

Ishmael represents the Islamic religion like Isaac represents the Hebrew religion and the Islamic religion does not believe in the same God as the Hebrew and Christians believe in. From what I have read Mohammad adopted his forefathers’ religion (Hebrew) and assigned it a new god, Allah, (he also adopted some things from the Christian religion too.) And he called it Islam, with Abraham and Ishmael as it fathers.

It appears that someone has presented to you a wrong doctrine and it has entered into the heart of your service and wants to take up a permanent residence there. You have not fully committed to it yet, but it’s sitting there waiting for you to pay attention to it and agree with it. Once you agree with it and take it into your heart permanently then you will be one with it and it will rule over you and it will be your god (boss) and you will serve it only.

God is revealing this to you now, before you become fully committed to this belief, so that you can be aware of the fact that Satan has come to you with this lie and is trying to present it to you as truth when it is not. Because you woke up before you made any decision to sign the contract, God is allowing you to make the decision with an awake and sound mind and to be aware of the consequences of signing a contract presented by the devil himself. Don’t sign your soul away to the wrong god, refuse to believe the lie and tell the devil to leave and he must.

Hope this wasn’t too harsh, but when I read the dream I could see a picture of this well dressed man sitting on the edge of a table holding a contract in his hand and a smirk on his face. I knew what the devil was up to and it is my responsibility to let you know, what you do with this is now your responsibility. I know you will make the right decision if you know the Lord Jesus.
May God bless you and give you wisdom. – Kathy

Seventh  Dream

Feb 5, 2011

I’m on this empty street waiting for some kids that I supposedly was waiting for. Three kids arrive out of nowhere and I ask them how their parents are doing. One of the older kid said he coudn’t talk it about it right there so we walked into a building nearby. We get in there and I noticed the oldest kid – wearing blue shirt- has blood coming through his shirt. We had walked into a medical center. I grabbed one of the nurses and asked her to help. The kid is completely out of it – almost dead. I noticed there is blood coming out of my nose and the nurse immediately bandages my head and my face. The facility is packed with people that are dying and loosing blood. Blood is everywhere on the grounds. I immediately start praying and asking God for his healing and rebuking this demonic illness that has come over all of us.
 
Meaning:
 
Feb 10, 2011
 
Here is the interpretation to your dream about the 3 kids.

There is a good possibility that you have received some false gifts due to your anticipation of receiving gifts, while waiting on the Lord. Sometimes this happens when we want something really bad. One of these gifts was a revelatory gift(blue shirt), it seems that you have given some revelatory word that was not of God and it caused great harm to you and those around you, causing the life (blood) to come out of you and the others. The medical center is a place for healing and the nurse is an angel sent to help but all the angel could do was put a temporary covering over it. You then see that it was worse than you thought, so you called upon the Great Healer to bring healing to you and to the others by rebuking the thing that caused the wounds. God was showing you in this dream that rebuking will not work unless you ask forgiveness first or else He would not have bothered to give you this dream if the rebuking alone had worked.

I have prayed about this dream and it has taken a while for me to understand it. I really didn’t get the understanding until today when I looked over it again and kept asking God what is the whole picture here, then it began to unravel. Please don’t let this interpretation upset you but use it to bring true healing to yourself and the others around you. Come before God and ask Him to forgive you for allowing this to happen and ask Him for the healing and forgiveness of others involved in this too.

The Lord loves you so much and only wants His truth and His life to be in you. This is all part of His guidance and training and this is how we mature in our walk. We are all allowed to make mistakes, the true children of God receive His discipline and His love. His love was showing you this dream so that you can line up with Him again.

I have had more interesting dreams about sex, demons, families, work place, and even about our government.  When I have more time, I will elaborate on these other dreams I have been having throughout my nights.  As I try to interpret these and seek God’s wisdom on it, I find peace knowing that I’m in God’s will and I am hearing his voice at night and seen his manifestations in the day. When I make the necessary adjustments to the recurring dreams, those recurring dreams stop.

A candle light flickers
Across the dark hideous room
Casting grosteque shadows
Upon the walls

While the music plays
The chants of a unknown voice
Murmurs the beat of a different drum

As the lyrics flow through the air
Vibrating the earth’s ground
The words bounce off the walls
And grabs a generation
Who has been on hold
To answer the waiting call

As the words draw people into pitch darkness
The conscience gets killed
And the soul soothed
By a disquised hand

As each soul cries out of hunger
The flocking of unknown creatures
Surround each individual
One by one with a helping hand
They exit into a world of darkness
That they never knew existed

At the cry of each heart
A demon mocks and scorns
At each tear
He laughs
At each broken heart
He rips more apart

In pitch darkness
The generation stands alone
The puppeteer appears
With a force
He pulls the strings

It is then they see
Satan his name
and
Death is his game

Everything fresh, new and clean
Coming from nothingness into something astonishing

All the buttons, threads, and colors in place

All fashioned together in the likeness of the designer

With heart and soul and extra doses of love

Poured into the model by the hand of tenderness itself

Smiles and sparkles shines through
There is no question; it is one of its own kind
The handprint has been left to tell the world
The Master has done it again
Who can contend or compare with Him? No one

The creation has been set free to live and move
To dwell among with the inhabitants
To taste, feel and breathe all that life offers her
And make paradise her home
And to saturate herself in the fields of exhilaration

Then it happens
The gauntlet of life
The whirlwind of pain and terror
The countdown to reality
Meeting the callousness and the senselessness
Can she stand the fiery temptation and treachery
All cutting so deeply into her kindhearted soul
What will it cost her ?
Will she survive without being disfigured for life?

Again and again; over and over
Not by one, two, but beyond three
Used and abused by associations
Torn and tattered by impaired judgments
Bleeding and aching for justice to be served
The stench of humiliation and faithlessness
The object of disgrace and shame
Has covered the vast timeless existence

Everything unraveled and broken
All hope shattered
Dishonor and degradation has become her
Loss of face has imprisoned her into the pit
Who will receive her as their own
And make her noble again?

The Master silently has been waiting
The steamroom of purification and restoration boils over
The creation all ragged, foul and malnourished of goodness
Comes dragging in with shackles and agony
What can she offer to her Creator?
Nothing but a shattered trophy in embarrassment

She dips into the healing waters
Marinating herself in grace and dignity
Soaking in honor through the fibers of her being
While the Master gently
Replaces all the buttons, threads and colors
And pours his own blood on her damaged heart
Making it beat to a different rhythm

A smile slowly returns on her face
He whispers in her ears how much he loves her
And glimmer of hope starts glowing in her countenance
In her Master’s arms, she realizes she is more than a rag doll
She is a priceless treasure that He will never throw away

Picture this scenario with me, an international flight that has about 300 passengers on it from all over the world. You have your American, Canadian, Native American, Latin American, French, and Italian, Polish, English, German, Irish, Indian, Pakistani, Thai, Korean, Cambodian, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Filipino, African, Israeli, Arab, and so forth. No two people came from the exact location. They are all different ages, have different cultures, and are from different time frames. Each one has a story and each one has chosen to be on this the plane for a specific destination where they will all be witnesses of a criminal court case, all 300 passengers have agreed to take the stand.

When the plane arrives at the destination, the passengers get off the plane and are escorted to the courtroom. They have few minutes to freshen up before their names will be called to testify against their offender. Within the minutes, the case is announced and everyone stands while the Judge takes his chair. “We now will hear the case of ‘The People vs. Jesus Christ’ case number 666666.”

The attorney of the 300 passenger stands and tells the peanut gallery, “This Jesus Christ is going to stand trial for premeditated negligence, usurping his authority, creation abuse, manslaughter, perjury, wastefulness, and destruction of innocent lives. He has broken the Ten Commandments and he has broken the Golden Rule. Therefore, Jesus Christ is not fit to be the Judge of anyone nor does He have the right to condemn anyone. He has broken his own moral code and we will hear the witnesses testify against his moral character that Jesus is not all that he claims to be – a just and pure God. He is a heretic and he should be removed from his royal position as God.”

One by one, the witnesses are called. The Israeli condemn Jesus for not saving his family from the holocaust. He had been beaten several times and showed his scars on his back. This Israeli had suffered hunger, pain, and loss and Jesus didn’t do anything about it. He had watched thousands of people go into the gas chambers, heard repeatedly from the Nazi soldier, “It is your Jesus that is telling me to beat you.”

Next witness, the Cambodian, who watched a vicious Communist leader, Khmer Rouge, come in command of his country. This leader annihilated all those who had intelligence and took the farmers to experiment on those who were sick by regime. The Cambodian watched in horror, his children being raped and his wife murdered. There was blood all over the prisons walls, where his comrades were tortured to entertain the soldiers. Where was God in all this? Why didn’t he put a stop to this nightmare?

The African witness came forward and testified that all in command of his country sold the pheasants into slavery not only in his country but also sold the people to different countries. He couldn’t stop crying when he mentioned watching his family all shackled up and taken on ships that sailed to different ports. The loss of his family was so unbearable, where was God? Did God love slavery? Did he enjoy seen his people in chains, beaten, bruised, raped, torn apart from their loved ones?

The attorney called for the next witness, a German gladiator. With anger in his tone and scowl on his face, the German man told about when the Romans came and destroyed his city. They raped the German school girls; they pillaged the land, set fire to their homes, and took all the young warriors to be gladiators in their coliseum. The German shared about his lonely nights in the prison cells, training hard, only to be treated like a barbarian and an animal. He testified to the gruesome horrors that took place inside the arena. Hearing the Romans cheering, laughing, looting to his mistreatment, they relished this sport of humans killing humans for entertainment. The blood, the gore, the screams, the audience loved every minute of his pain.

On and on, one witness after another witness came forth to testify against this Jesus. The Indian testified about the British taking over their land and repressing their rights to be above the caste system. The Arab testified to the fact that everybody hated them because they were the descendants of Ishmael and not Isaac, which meant they never truly had a home, they were wanderers looking for a place of their own. They had to fight to keep the peace with the neighboring nations. The Irish testified about the Catholics and the Protestants not coming to peace so they had to have their own holy wars. Why couldn’t God reveal the truth to them about that was right? The Chinese woman talked about being tortured by the communists because she wanted to educate herself on democracy. She had watched a communist soldier kill her newborn baby with a sword. The Native American testified to the fact that the white man stole his land, and he had nowhere to go and eventually his tribe had died off to diseases, hunger, and annihilation at the white man’s hands. A teenage Thai girl testified to the fact that her father sold her into human trafficking because he was unable to take care of her anymore.

As each witness came forward, their stories were getting dark and grim. There was abuse of every kind within the family to the highest level of governmental positions. There was no hope, no peace, no joy, and there was no resolution to their heartbreaking stories. All the fingers pointed at Jesus, it was his fault for all the injustice that took place in their lives.

Finally it was Jesus turn to take the stand. Everyone was looking at him, believing that he had no memory of what was going on in their lives because he lived in the heavens far, far away from their pain, misery, and unspeakable acts done to them. One could sense the tension and anger in the atmosphere. If the Judge didn’t know any better, he would have surrounded Jesus with his heavy guards. The witnesses were ready to throw a stone party that they had brought in their pockets. Rather than sitting in the chair, Jesus stood up and stood in front of his accusers and all those present in the courtroom. There was something about his disposition, it was calm and peaceful but his eyes showed sorrow.

“I want you to know that when you took that bitter cup of pain and suffering, I took it as well. Look at my tortured and mutilated body on the cross. I have never asked you to do something that I have never done. I asked you to walk the extra mile because I have walked the extra mile. I asked you to forgive, because I have forgiven you. I have asked you to love your enemies, because I have loved my enemies. I extended my love and grace to you in the most difficult times of your life because without it your spirit would have perished. You can have peace in the midst of the storm. You can have unconditional love in the midst of being tortured but the key is to keep your eyes only on me, not on your suffering or on your enemy. Life is full of choices and in my love for you; I allowed you to have freewill and granted you permission to make your own choices in how you wanted to live your life. Choose the good things in life: have a relationship with God; know him personally; love one another; be kind to each other; and take care of each other. That is my will for each one of you. I will not make you or anyone choose to do the right thing in life. You have to choose for yourself. When someone chooses to do wrong, you will get hurt because you live in a fallen world that is corrupted by greed, power, and the iron fist of sin.

I may live in the Heavens but I can also live inside of you helping you through the difficulties. Even though it seems I am miles away, I have not forgotten you. I came to the Earth, to experience your humanity, to show you the way to live your lives in the midst of suffering. Even in the midst of being beaten, whipped, humiliated, slandered against, my own disciples left me to face the crucifixion alone. While hanging on the cross, my own Heavenly Father forsook me because I had become your sin, your sickness, your weakness, and your shame. I have known losses, rejections, homelessness, loneliness, thirst, hunger, racism, and betrayal. I went to the cross  so that my Father in Heaven could have a relationship with you, and show you how much we love you.

If you lose your faith in your pain, misery, unbearable heartache and torture remember that there is justice and there is healing. Vengeance is mine and I will repay all those who have hurt you. I will come to your rescue.  But the timing of the rescue is not up to you,  it is up to me. Don’t pass judgment on those who have done you wrong. I have seen, I have heard, and I will deliver you from your sorrows. Your suffering isn’t wasted. You have sown tears, brokenness, pain, and death; but you will reap a new life of joy, gladness, love, and blessings. I will redeem your losses. All the suffering you have gone through will be used for God’s glory. Don’t shut out or silence the only one who can help you. Earth maybe your beginning but it is not the ending I have planned for you.  Heaven awaits you, your rewards awaits you, all that you need to be fulfilled in life will be there for you once you have stepped over the threshhold of darkness and walked into my light.”

The King of kings and Lord of lords had spoken. Jesus Christ had taken his own medicine and he knew sufferings in ways that humanity would never know from experience.  He had emptied himself of divine rights on Earth and humbled himself  to servitude and even to the point of death. Everyone in the courtroom knew this as well.  How could they blame him?   He had faced evil head on and conquered it in the process of  living a sinless life. How dare us to critique, judge, slander, question the method of the very one who knew the facets of life’s tapestry. Who better to judge mankind of its evil deeds and righteous act than the God who lived, breathed sin’s nasty smell, and sacrified himself to save mankind from eternal destruction. What other God has done that for you and for me?

I have beheld the One
Who has made it all
I have touched the ultimate goodness
Tasted the untainted purity of existence

I know wholeness and fulfillment
Life of unshattered dreams
Peace that goes beyond comprehension

My eyes have seen true radiance
The beauty, you have no words to describe
I had no boundaries, no rules, no time
I was free to do as a I please

From my portal
I saw nothingness
Forming into beauty of unimaginable things

Yes, I have seen the celestial shores
I know the Majesty of true power
I am His perfection

I drank in my own intoxication
With the lust of the eyes
And pride of life
I made my choice

The same mistake
That was made in you
Was made in me
The freedom to choose

I chartered into unknown territory
Left paradise for power
Forsook the One who created me
Fought the friends who at one time stood by me

I contorted the truth
Traded love for a lie
Brought in confusion
Demanded it be all about me
Brain-washed thousands of valiant warriors

You don’t have to convince me
About what is right or what is wrong
What is good or what is bad
What is pure or what is evil

I know all too well
I know better than you
All the definitions of life
I created the gray line purposefully
And I don’t need your sympathy

You have your freewill
And by that, you will be judged
No one can make you
Choose right or wrong

You are free to do as you please
You can be slave to me
Or you can be slave to my opponent
But in no way will you be a slave to yourself

Don’t forget
When it is all said and done
When you have lived your life to the end
I will take sides and it won’t be yours

So think carefully
Tread delicately
I’m the irresistible archangel
That will make you fall

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